how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
