This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize