better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You took a bar mat shot.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
