wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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