Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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