My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
