yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
