Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
