I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
