he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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