I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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