That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
