I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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