If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
