i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
