i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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