you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize