Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I have peed in a lot of sinks
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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