you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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