we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
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