Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize