nut hugger
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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