on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Green mimosas i think yes
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize