Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
