we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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