im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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