I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
