You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
