He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
