in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Someone signed my nipple.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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