I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
