I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
