In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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