i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
