We're facebook friends in real life
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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