He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
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