Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
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