She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize