If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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