i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
