she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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