i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
