did you get engaged???
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
