Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Randomize
