I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Randomize
