he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
