She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
