did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
