Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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