ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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