got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
