yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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