Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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