Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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