Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
