what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
