you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Randomize
