Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
