I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
