Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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