You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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