I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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