im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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